Top Ten Conversation Etiquette Tips

Picking up guys or girls with conversation



A lot of people ask us in our workshops what conversation etiquette to use when you go out on a first date. This is something we like to practice and the feedback we get helps us compile our top ten list of conversation etiquette tips to help you on your way.

Conversation Etiquette

1. Let the other person speak - Interruptions can be so frustrating for the other person you are speaking to and shows a lack of respect and thoughtfulness. Let them speak and wait for a pause before even if you a dying to say something you are passionate about.

2. Use the persons name - Everyone loves to hear the sound of their own name and it can breed familiarity very quickly when you are out on a date. Don't over use it, but if you find the conversation is waning a little sometimes dropping their name gets there attention and can help things along.

3. Eating and Talking - This goes without saying I hear you scream out? Feedback from our workshops says it does happen when people are dating or just getting to know someone - not as often as some on this list, but it can be a real turn off when someone is talking and you can see half their food before its digested.

4. Past relationships - Try to keep this to a minimum. Its not bad etiquette to mention a little about your last boyfrind or girlfriend but try not to use this as a therapy session for someone to help smooth over any scars. Invariably our workshops bring this up as a negative for a first date. Try and engage yourself in the person in front of you and focus on having a good time.

5. Keep eye contact - Invariable the feedback we recieve will include lack of eye contact, especially from girls talking about the guys. It is good conversation etiquette to maintain eye contact. It does not matter how interesting the words are that you are using, if you can't engage the other person with eye contact, you will lose part of the conversation. It does not require loving glances and smoldering eyes, just try to make consistent eye contact, it also helps to see how they are reacting.

  • 6. Personal Interrogation - This is an absolute no-no. Try not to interrogate into other peoples personal ives, especially if you see any negative reaction in their body language. If you really want to get to know the person ask them what makes them laugh, or what they like to do for fun. You are bound to get a positive response.

    (believe us - ask the right questions and things will flow nicely).

    7. Unsolicited advice - Be very very careful to resist the temtation to give advice as soon as the other person mentions a problem. "I know of a remedy that can...? "Why don't you . . .?". Men have a tendency more than women to 'solve' problems, but rest assured, if you are thinking of a great solution, you are best to nod and let the other person talk about things. Get on their level and if they are confiding in you, take this a great compliment they already they trust you.

    Conversation etiquette - try conversation starters to get the ball rolling

    8. Arguing - Best way to make a conversation spiral downwards is in engaging in an argument that gets bigger and bigger. Believe us, once you start, it will be like raising the titanic to get the conversation spiralling upwards again. Best solution if you strongly feel about something is to avoid talking about it early on if you feel and argument erupting. Be light hearted and remmber if you are on a date and things go well, you can have the rest of your life to argue!

    9. Judging - Conversation etiquette is all abour accepting people for their views, their beliefs and lifestyle. There is no bigger turn off than a person who pre-judges you on a comment you made or their perception of you. Think about it, have you been judged incorrectly and can you remember if that frustrated you? Best to keep your judgements until you really know the person. For now just get to know a new friend and have fun!

    10. Sex - Some people are very uncomfortable talking openly about sex. Unless you really know the other people well it is best to avoid any sexual references during a conversation. We know there is a fine line here as flirting can be suggestive at times, but best rule of thumb is - if you are getting any negative reactions to 'suggestive language', then its best to tone it down a little and avoid sexual references.

    Ok so there you have it, out top ten conversation etiquette tips created from 'on the floor' feedback from our flirting workshops.


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