Crush on student teacher

I am one of those teenage girls who's attracted to older men, the sterotype, yes.

I'm 17 and have an unavoidable crush on a male student teacher aged 26. He has seemingly taken notice of me and has helped me with my assessment project endlessly it is either a sign of his dedication to his vocation or something better HE LIKES ME!!

I have asked friends if they find him attractive and have had a mixed response. i know soon he will be out of my life as he leaves our school at the end of the teaching year.

I am devastated by this fact as i don't easily communicate intellectually with attractive males my own age and feel respected by the student teacher.

I am pretty not beautiful and take pride in my appearance and know boys and men find me attractive.

I am sexually inexperienced and feel that he may believe me to be naive. On the contrary, yes i am sexually not that confident but i am an able student (as he knows) and rather intelligent.

I am a vegan, have strong political beliefs and am more than able to initiate and with-hold adult conversation. I would never reveal to him my admiration and attraction due to fear of rejection but why would he choose to help me sooo much when there are less able students in the class, why would he be so overtly interested in what i have to say and why would he linger around me, follow me out of the room to help me (without me asking him) and dedicate time to helping me in his free time! i try not to look at him but i frequently feel his gaze on me (not in a sexual way - he is looking at my face i think), i have turned around to get out of my seat only to find on several occasions he is watching what i am doing, standing directly behind me or coming over to speak to me!! i am incredibly attracted to him and think about him 24/7 aka infatuation!!!

I don't like it when i don't have his attention either. You ask yourself what should I do? But like millions of others i am a person who's opportunities in life will escape me due to poor self belief and a feeling of inferiority.

I can truly see myself being with this person as i also hope to enter a profession in the creative industries like him our sense of humour is also very similar.

I know at the moment i am too inexperienced and have other priorities but who's to say that in the future our paths wont cross. Well for now i cling to that thought because i love him and probably wont get over how profoundly he has affected me personally and my education.

I LOVE HIM!!!

If you feel the same as me and are in the same position just move on because more often than not its not worth your time questioning what could be if you have moral doubts i.e. age difference issues or are lacking in confidence. learn to live with not wanting and craving attention and affection (i know how pessimistic that sounds)but its the only way to stay focused on whats important to you!

At the end of the day, at the moment the student teacher would be better suited to a girl with more experience than me but when i hit 20's i hope i would be more experienced in his eyes and therefore more attractive and he would make a move or vice verse?

this is only the rantings of a teenage drama queen and not to be taken seriously ok! hehe but if you have or are in this situation when the possible love of your life has escaped you then my heart goes out to you!! lots of love hehe xxxx

Katia's answer

Dear Rhian,

Most of us know what it's like to be infatuated with someone. The thought of them fills our every waking moment and we can think of little else.

In the early stages of attraction, a group of neuro-transmitters including dopamine, norepinephrine and serotonin are released. These play havoc with our nervous systems and are the reason that we become temporarily infatuated with our date. Unable to eat, sleep or think of anything or anyone else we would move heaven and earth to be with the object of our affection.

Unfortunately we don't always fall for the one that we can have and once the attraction chemical cocktail has hit our nervous system, it can be hard to stop obsessing.

Even if he is attracted to you, he can't and shouldn't do anything about it. You've only got to watch Notes on a Scandal to see that proceeding any further is fraught with danger and will only leave you unhappy.

It will also put him in an uncomfortable position which could cost him his career not to mention affect your grades. In a few years time the age gap won't be as noticeable and who knows! But by then you'll probably have moved on as infatuations don't tend to last more than a few months.

This is one case where taking a step back is a good idea, you won't regret it.

Good luck
Katia Loisel-Furey
Miss Flirt

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