How To Use Eye Body Language



Eye body language is not just about winking then having numerous prospective mates beat a path to our door. It’s all about knowing the pleasure and excitement we can have by just using our eyes.

I believe when we are confident, when we feel good, we naturally look people in the eye. Problem is as soon as we see that cute guy or girl, a lot of us would rather die than make eye contact. Can you see a slight problem here?

Confident Body Language

One of the first things on my list when coaching people is to work on eye body language which doesn’t actually mean sitting down and practising different gazes, but understanding how we can use our eyes when flirting.

This is especially the case for guys, as eyes - such an organ of romance for girls, are underestimated as a flirting tool. Some may say the most useful flirting technique of all!

When we get excited subconscious signals change the way our eyes look, our pupils become dilated and we become more attractive. In fact women once used Bella Donna, a toxic herb to get the same effect.

Note: Bella Doona originates from the historic use by women to dilate their pupils to make themselves appear more attractive.

So don’t forget when you are attracted to someone, automatically you look more attractive to them!

So how can we get better at eye body language?

The following are some hints to help practice eye body language and in turn build self-confidence to get up the courage to actually make eye contact with that cute guy or girl.

  • At the traffic lights

    A good start to practicing making more eye contact with people is to use your eye body language to anyone you see at the traffic lights, whether you fancy them or not.

  • Passers by

    When walking down the street, try this out – if someone makes eye contact with you, hold his or her gaze for 3-5 seconds at least. If you find it difficult, I want you to push through your comfort zone and extend your gaze. Believe me, once you achieve this you will feel ten feet tall. Don’t worry if like most people they look away. It doesn’t mean they rejected you, it just gives you an understanding that others aren’t quite as open as you yet.

    Eye Body Language - Understanding Men Library

  • Family and friends

    If you find it too difficult to make good eye body language with strangers, start on family and friends, just engaging them and using more eye contact. Practice makes perfect remember, so you can practice anywhere, anytime, as long as someone is around.

  • Use a mirror

    Practice in front of the mirror. No, it’s not as silly as it sounds. It gives you a great picture of how you look if you stand up straight, look confident as you gaze straight ahead. Try to find out where you normally look if when you break eye contact.

    For instance, if you continually look down, try to correct this by occasionally looking upwards or sideways. We are just practising gaining confidence through eye body language here so keep working at it, and the better you will become.

  • Working On Using Our Eyes

    This is one of the most important aspects of flirting to work on in my opinion and can get immediate results, especially in gaining our self-confidence when talking to that cute guy or girl.

    Body language in flirting is not just the way we move, our posture and how we physically present ourselves. Using our eyes can speak volumes to show someone we are interested, especially if we smile while we are looking at them. It’s hard not to smile back and flirting aside, it makes the day so much more enjoyable.

    So have fun with it, remember there are no mistakes with this, just make sure you keep making eye contact with anyone you cross paths with and believe me slowly but surely you will feel more confident to eventually use eye body contact with some you are really attracted to.


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