I can't flirtI am not very good at flirting. In fact my friends say I can't flirt at all..... ladies anticipate my every move.... What can I do to improve my skills? Katia’s answer Can you go from dating disaster to people magnet? The answer is yes. Flirting is a communication skill and one that can be learnt and it's just like driving a car or riding a bike. The more you do it the better you'll get and the more fun you'll have in the process. If you'd have told me in my early twenties that I'd be teaching people how to flirt I would have laughed. I was a self confessed dating disaster and couldn't flirt to save myself. But like me, you can turn things around and all it takes is preparation and practice. The first step is to understand how you come across; after all, you can't understand people's reaction to you if you don't know what you do or why you do it. What signals do you give off most of the time?Describe the signals you give off most of the time;- Eye contact ad smiling- Facial Expression- Posture- Gestures- Do you move toward or away from the person?- Are you open or closed?- Breathing- Do you find it easy or difficult to maintain a conversation?- Vocal Pace- Vocal Volume- Vocal Tone- How do you see yourself? How do you feel? Go through the same process for the following scenarios, describing the signals you give off when:- You're nervous- You meet someone for the first time- You're attracted to someone- You're at work- You're with your friends- You're with your best friend The second step is to ask for feedback. I know it's not always easy to hear what people think of you, especially if it's not the way you view yourself but you can't change the way you come across or improve your social interaction if you don't know where you're going wrong. The third step is to model yourself on someone who has the skills you'd like. Most of us know a people magnet, the type of person who has lots of friends, a pocket full of girl's numbers and more dates than they can handle. How do they come across? What is it about them that draws people in like a magnet? How do they make you feel? Most people magnets have one thing in common; they focus on the other person. They're interested as well as interesting, they remember your name, make you feel comfortable and give you their undivided attention. So rather than worrying about whether they're interested or not focus on making sure that you're making them feel comfortable. Uncross your arms and legs, make eye contact, smile, be open and friendly. Practicing in the mirror was a great suggestion. Practice 'faking it till you make it' and before you know it, you'll be giving your friends advice on how to flirt and not the other way around. Good luck and take care.
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