Is she flirting with me?



Is she flirting with me? Picture yourself talking to some-one and you are wondering whether she is flirting. You are getting some signals but you don't quite know what they mean and you definitely don't know for sure she is flirting.

Women are masters of subtlety, and frankly men usually are not. A lot of women know, discuss and practice flirting, giving and receiving signals and enjoy building rapport, the give and take and gentle teasing known as flirting.

Now as women give off so many more signals than guys and generally converse more, we need to be on the look out for signals that show she is definitely flirting with you.

So how do we tell - is she flirting with me?


Is she flirting with me?
Tell-tale signs that tell you she's interested

Written by Katia Loisel-Furey and Paul Morris Segal co-authors of the blockbuster 2-sided book How to get the man you want / How to get the woman you want

Have you ever wondered whether a girl was interested or just being friendly or been sure that a gorgeous girl wasn’t interested only to find out she’d been flirting?

Women may not always take the first step but when it comes to sending out signals of interest, they often make the first move, sending out far more signals than men. So pay attention.

Let’s start with the basics.

Want to know the signals most commonly used by women to indicate interest? She’ll gaze in your direction, smile, maintain eye contact for up to four seconds, give you a half smile, look away before having another peek around 30 seconds later.

Doesn’t sound that hard to spot does it?


But before you get too keen, remember to always look for a cluster of three to five signals and if she’s not pointing at you or looking in your direction chances it’s not you she’s flirting with.

Now that you’ve got the basics let’s get started.

Before she’s even registered that she’s attracted her body has started sending out micro-signals that say you’re hot. She’ll stand tall, give herself a non-surgical breast lift, pull her stomach in, tense her thigh muscles. It’s her body’s way of getting ready for an encounter, with you.

Okay, so you’ve got your eye on a gorgeous girl, you think she’s keen but you’re still not quite sure. What other signals give her away?

  • She might give you the repeated darting glance
  • Give you the over the shoulder look
  • Play a game of peek-a-boo
  • Hold your gaze
  • Take a visual journey of your face
  • Toss or play with her hair
  • Let her hair down
  • Play with her mouth, lick her lips or put objects into her mouth

    But that’s not all…

  • She might also stroke herself
  • Massage her neck exposing her erogenous zones, her neck, wrists and breasts
  • Preen or adjust her clothing
  • Unbutton or button her clothes
  • Do the leg twine
  • Expose her inner thigh with one knee pointed forward
  • Kick her leg up and down.
  • Do the shoe fondle
  • Or slowly cross and uncross her legs

    What other signals is she giving you? If she’s looking at you a smile darting across her lips, slowly crossing and uncrossing her legs whilst gently stroking her thigh, get over there fast. She’s subconsciously telling you where she’d like to be touched.

    Now, If you’re lucky enough to be standing close to her look out for these signals that tell you she’s keen:

  • She might move closer to you
  • Mirror you
  • Invade your personal space with objects
  • Move her head towards yours
  • Do the whisper and lean
  • Or touch you

    … and that’s just for starters.<


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    Is she interested? Other things to look out for

    N.B Its important to note we are looking for clusters of 3 or more of these signals. Studies have shown and our experience certainly backs this up - you need a cluster of signals aimed at you for you to be really sure.

    Flirt clothes to wear

  • She laughs at your jokes - When you say something funny, does she rock back in fits of laughter for an abnormally long time? Chances are she is interested or you are very funny. If she is the only one laughing, its probably not the latter.

  • She smiles at you - Now there is the friendly I like you smile and then their is the 'I really like you' smile. If it comes with extended eye contact, look out!

  • Getting Personal - When a girl starts talking about her own personal experiences, its defintely a good sign. If she also starts using the word 'we', as in 'we could play tennis together' its also a very good sign.

  • Verbally excited - When we are interested in someone we usually do one of two things. We can clam up and say nothing or indeed become more interesting, more excited and our voice defintely becomes less monotone with an increase in pitch range and vocal tonality.

  • Asking Your Opinion - An interesting and common factor for women to reveal their confidence and trust in you is ask for your opinion, especially if its an area that affect them personally. e.g "What's your opinion on a little problem I'm having with a friend..."

  • Gives a Personal Compliment - We girls are far more willing to give compliments to girlfriends, so when we give a genuine compliment to a guy, you better believe it - also, if its quite personal like 'You've lost weight' or 'You look good today' - well we are either in flirt town or at least approaching the city limits.

  • She talks about you to your friends - Another great signs she likes you is when you come up in conversation with friends often. If she asks your friends questions about you, it should be a good sign.

    Is she flirting with me? A lot of girls do like to flirt and generally enjoy the process more than men. If you find she is flirting with you, sit back and enjoy it, you can analyse it later on.

    And remember be patient as girls do enjoy it. Don't be too eager to get her number or take her home if you feel its too early. Let it unfold naturally and it will happen, just keep a sharp eye out for those interested in you.<




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