Reading Body Language

Reading Body Language is the first step in studying body language.

I feel the best method to understanding body language is by becoming a flirting detective and turn the sound down on the world around us.

We want to turn the sound down, take the blinkers off and tune in using only our eyes for the moment and see what we pick up.

Start at the Beginning

The first step is to start understanding body language the easiest way possible.

Start watching T.V with the sound turned off. Start to try reading body language without actually knowing what is being said.

This is a great way to learn and pick up reactions reading body language, and one of the few good reasons to watch reality T.V.

Aside - Just trying to be positive - the glass is half full right?

Step Two

Go out for a coffee. Join a friend and go somewhere for a lunch or a drink or any excuse to go to a meeting place and just observe. Try and learn from what happens. If you observe a reaction, try and work out what it means in your own mind.

Trust me, you will discover more than you think in the way people react to body language.

You might find you can predict people reactions before they happen, and without knowing a word that was said in conversation.

Step Three

Go to a bar or club or any social environment conducive to flirting, where there is a lot of sexual energy in the air, so to speak. Here is where you can really learn.

Without looking like a peeping tom in the corner, casually observe the flirting techniques, whatever they may be and the reactions they get.

We of course don't know the history between other people or the way they normally behave, but you can be sure certain signals will tend to work.

Reading body language is about picking up live information where you can intuitively say, a ha I get it!.

Step Four

Now try it out for yourself, by yourself. Armed with your 'intuitive understanding' and observation on what works and what doesn't, try giving out some signals in front of a mirror or just talking out loud. You will be surprised how some time it will click for you, and other times, you will say 'no way'.

Try standing or sitting in different positions - what position do you feel most comfortable in? What position do you think will get the best response? Let your gut rule on this one.

What sort of questions would you ask for instance?

The following are good conversation starters used in speed dating, a great learning curve to start conversations.

Reading Body Language - Conversation Starters

Step Five

Now you are ready to not only start reading body language but to go out there and try it.

This of course is when your learning will accelerate exponentially. Best tip I can give is to read up on eye body language.

Eye Body Language

When you have finished come back as we are not quite finished.

Finished reading? Good, then remember whether you know that cute guy or girl, always make eye contact with a smile. This will increase your confidence no end. If you don't believe me go back and read the link on eye body language.

Once you have made good eye contact and feel warmly welcomed, start up a conversation. Remember just ask a few light questions, nothing heavy and practice a few basic reading body language tips.

Male Body Language

Female Body Language

If you find out what you observed earlier does not work for you, then pat yourself on the back! You will remember that more so, just as you will remember when you do something that works which surprises you.

Don't overthink, just keep in the back of your mind what works and what doesn't. Do they respond when you become more animated, when you speak more from the heart, or when you are just laid back and being funny?

When you get home write down or at least make mental notes of what happened. It will stick with you for a long time.

What if I feel I flunked out?

Wait a minute, the whole purpose of this was to learn, to start reading body language. How can we flunk out?

Overcoming Fear of Rejection

I don't expect you to be perfect and would be disappointed if you had any negative thoughts from these experiences. No-one can possibly reject you or me, otherwise we both spend each day feeling good or bad based on how others will react.

What happens if the other person feels lousy, or insecure and sends us the wrong signals?

No, not for me I must say and I hope not for you as well.

I base these steps on advice I having given clients who have achieved enormous success in gaining their own knowledge in reading body language and using it productively.

I hope this helps you find that someone special in your life and hope one day I hear from you.